Sin sucks

Well, this is my first blog really. I don't really know why I'm doing this, but if you're reading this, then I hope you get something out of this.

I gotta say: sin sucks. You know what makes sin feel worse? When you sin and you know you are sinning. You know what is even worse? When you sin and you know you are sinning and you do not care. That seriously stinks. Alright, I've been having a problem with this particular sin for months now. It's pretty bad. It's pretty hard to stop. I think I do it more often when the conditions of my life are not exactly ideal. Like, when I am at school. I have friends at school. Actually, I have, like, about three friends at school. Everyone else I socialize with are just people I use to make sure I am not by myself. However, the thing is, just as those people are my peripheral friends, I am also their peripheral friends. By peripheral friends, I mean, on the side friends. We do not really love each other. We tolerate each other. Well, they tolerate me. I used to be really annoying as a middle school student and I'm still a bit annoying today. Sometimes, without knowing, I speak too loudly or keep on talking or just act in an irritating manner. It's not easy to fix. So, obviously, while they like me enough to give me a place within their group, I do not feel like I truly belong with cliques. Am I a total loser? I used to be. Not really today. I actually have MANY peripheral friends. Anyway, this entire situation at school kind of makes me unhappy so I tend to sin that particular sin because of how I feel (I think). And it has been going for an extended period of time so I feel like the guilt and how much I care about doing this sin has decreased somewhat. The guilt used to be pretty intense, but now it's simmered down to a passing emotion almost. That in itself saddens me.

This entire post seems like a giant pity party to me. I should learn to end on encouraging, happier notes.